Not everyone makes it to a birth...
As an aspiring midwife and birth doula, I get asked all the time if I will miss the birth. There is never a great response because I have spent the last 5 years burning a very crucial concept onto my heart..... If I miss the birth then I wasn't meant to be there. There is a peace that every family and midwife have to find within themselves. The amazing moment that a baby is brought into the world is set in motion way before the head crowns and the baby emerges. The person who first touches and holds this little angel, holds a lot of significance in this new little life.
Every time I have the honor of welcoming a new baby into the world, I am overcome with gratitude that it was me that was chosen to be the first..... The first one to see them, the first one to welcome them, and the first one to touch them. In my camp, this honor is not taken lightly. It is such a high honor and place of significance, that sometimes it is not me who is meant to hold this moment. Whether it be due to a late call, whether it be a dad catching, whether it be a horrific act of God or a blizzard. The unknown pieces are all part of this divine moment that has been put into place, despite us.
In the last year or so, I have missed 2 birth (both within just minutes). And each time, there was a reason. The parents sometimes need space. Sometimes the sacred moment is just meant for the 2 of them. Sometimes they really just wanted photos of the new baby and not the birth (deep in their heart of hearts). Sometimes this special moment is for the father to behold. Whatever the reason, it was meant to be. The people who were there were supposed to be there. The moment of birth is exactly as it should be. The people in the room were called and chosen. There is never mistakes when it comes to presence in the birth space. Each person accepts the weighty responsibility of holding this sacred moment forever in their hearts.
It is my honor to witness this incredible moment with many special people. These babies that are brought into my hands are special to my heart... beyond words. And if ever I miss that sacred moment.... it was meant to be. It is what it is and I am totally at peace with that.
With all of this said, I always do my best to be at every single birth. I have backups in place in case I can't make it or another birth in in progress. I communicate with my families often, but sometimes birth just happens. Trust yourself, trust your baby, and trust the process.
Author: Averee Chifamba